There Are Worse Things Than Losing My Breasts

Since I had my bilateral mastectomy, I've tried to keep the loss of my breasts in perspective. There are worse things that could happen. For me and for many of us who have had breast cancer, the news we most fear is that our cancer has spread beyond our breasts — that it has become metastatic.

Recently, two contributors to received this devastating news many years after their original diagnoses. One of these women had early stage breast cancer and had been told that the odds of her cancer spreading were only 1%. The other had a serious Stage 3 cancer, but after eight years with no evidence of disease, she had begun to hope that she was cured. I ache for these wonderful women. And their stories remind me not to take a single day for granted.

Some cancer survivors describe the appreciation of life that comes from confronting their mortality. For me, after my initial diagnosis, everything seemed more vivid and wonderful — just taking a walk could bring me to tears because the flowers and sky looked so intensely beautiful. And that intensity extended to my family. I felt a passionate love for my husband and sons, a depth of feeling that all too often becomes submerged by the routines of daily life. And all too soon, as I recovered from surgery and resumed those routines, that intensity faded.

But my perspective has permanently changed. I make a conscious effort every day (well, almost every day) to slow down and enjoy my friends and family, and the world around me. If I ever receive the frightening news that my cancer has metastasized, I want to feel that I've enjoyed my good health while I've had it.

Even for those to whom the worst happens, there is reason for hope. Many women with metastatic breast cancer live for years, sometimes decades, with a high quality of life. A number of the treatments available today are gentler than in the past, and if one fails there are usually others that can be tried. I fervently wish that my two friends respond well to treatment and have many more years to stop and smell the roses.

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.


  1. So glad to have found your blog, Barbara.
    I am just finished with chemo...I had a bilat. Mast. the day after Christmas, and decided not to have recon.
    I know it was the right decision, and never have I second-guessed it, but I must confess, there are some days when I feel nobody can understand how much really changes, not only from having cancer forever looming over one's head...but also the challenges I am facing every single day.
    My family is awesome (3 grown daughters and husband of 31 years)...and friends who have continued to lift me in prayer...but they cannot know what this feels like..nor do I want them to.
    I can sure relate to the way everything became very clear and vibrant right after my diagnosis...and now it is beginning to fade...I don't want to ever lose that clarity, and I hate the days when because of my illness I am not at my best! But, I know I must give myself time to recover now from the effects of chemo on my body.
    I do keep a Christian blog, and have many wonderful supportive friends there, but I do not write much about breast cancer...only enough to keep them updated, and to encourage them that with God we can get through anything in life. Again, I am thankful to have found your blog.
    ~God bless~ Lisa

  2. I agree with your comment that losing your breasts is not the worst thing that can happen to you.

    Failing to live life to the fullest is near the top of my list. Not being able to find a reason to laugh or make someone else laugh is.

    Having cancer recur is. Not feeling love is.

    We are so much more than the sum total of our body parts. All of us are beautiful women. We are daughters of God and as such are royalty.

    I had a bilateral mastectomy with six lymph nodes removed along with my ovaries in December of 2011. My cancer was stage one, invasive, intraductal carcinoma. I could not in good conscience undergo additional unnecessary surgery. My husband agreed.

    Thank you for sharing this post.

  3. So glad i found this blog, diagnosed with stage 2 lobulur breast cancer on left side which has spread to lymph nodes on right side on 21st july it was 1st thought to gave spread but all tests and scans thank god have been clear, under going unilateral mastectomy, removal of lymoh nodes on right side and sentinal lym0h node removal on right in next 2 wks,