Finding the Perfect Breast Forms—One Woman's Saga

When I had my bilateral mastectomy in October, 2006, I lost two breasts. In their place, I've acquired way more than two breast forms. I didn't think it would be this way. When I decided not to have reconstruction, I expected to easily find the perfect pair of replacement breasts and that would be that. Instead, it's been a process of trial and error. Even if you don't share my body type or you had only one breast removed, I hope my story will hearten you in your own search for the perfect breast form.

Before my surgery, I decided that if I ever deserved to splurge, now was the time. I knew insurance would cover my first pair of silicone forms, but I'd also heard about some non-silicone forms and I wanted to try them. I ordered a pair of Amoena Leisure Forms (Style 126) from an online website. They were inexpensive, at least compared to silicone. I ordered them in a size 4, which turned out to be a good fit for me (I later found that in certain bras, a size 3 works better). In addition, I ordered a pair of Still You Illusions, also relatively inexpensive. The size Bs that arrived looked gigantic—too wide for my frame and more like a D cup on me. I was able to exchange them for size As, which fit well. Both the Leisure Form and the Illusions can be worn in regular unpocketed bras, a real plus.

My first pair of silicone forms were Amoena Climate forms, in a size 2. When I was fitted with them, four weeks after surgery, they seemed huge, perhaps because I'd gotten used to being flat. But not long after the thirty-day period during which I could have exchanged them expired, I realized they were definitely too small.

I visited another fitter who persuaded me that Nearly Me Lite Tapered Triangle forms in a size 3 were the way to go. Going from a size 2 to a size 3 doesn't sound like much of a change, but Nearly Me forms run big and were equivalent to size 4 Amoena or ABC forms. So I went from tiny to va va voom. My husband thought they looked great, but unfortunately the forms felt heavy on my small frame. I wore them for evenings out but otherwise mostly wore my Leisure Forms, which I could put in a regular bra or a Still You pocketed Tank Top.

The Leisure Forms worked fine, but didn't feel natural, like silicone. I was disappointed that I still hadn't found the perfect form. Most fitters carry only a small selection of the many available forms, so I hadn't even had a chance to try on most of the options I'd seen for sale online. I wanted to try them all! I'm normally not much of a shopper, so this compulsion to shop for breast forms was something new. But, having paid out of pocket for the Nearly Me forms, I felt I had to restrain my shopping impulse, at least for a while.

Then one day I came across a website that sold an Airway form, the Tritex Triangular, which was made of silicone but had a microfiber backing (Airway has since been purchased by Anita and this form is hard to get in the U.S.). This seemed like the perfection I was looking for—combining the natural feel of silicone with the comfort of fabric against my skin. I located a fitter who carried Airway and went to try the forms on.

I loved them! I could wear them in a regular unpocketed bra. The microfiber felt soft against my skin and the silicone real to the touch. My husband, who by now wished I would stop discussing breast forms, hoped that these would make me happy. So, I bought them in a size 2 (these forms run large and are equivalent to a size 3 Amoena or ABC form). They are wonderful breast forms—almost perfect. They do have to air dry, due to the microfiber back, so that takes a little extra time, but they're comfortable, don't make my chest perspire, and pass the hug test with flying colors.

You'd think that I would have stopped there, and I did for a while. But when I was again eligible to purchase a new pair of forms with my insurance, I couldn't resist. This time, I decided to get the Airway Tritex forms in a size 3, to get back a little of the va va voom. Unfortunately, after wearing them for a while, I realized they were too heavy for me (the Airway size 3s are equivalent to large size 4s in Amoena and ABC) and were causing me to have backaches. No amount of projection was worth that. They were soon relegated to the back of my closet, along with the Nearly Me Tapered Triangles. I feel guilty about wearing them so little, but have saved them for those occasions when I want to look well-endowed for a few hours.

I also experimented with Pals gel forms, an alternative to silicone that can be worn directly against the skin. They're much less expensive than silicone, only about $50 per pair. As so often happens, the first pair I ordered online was too big, but a second pair (which was customized for an additional $10) fit beautifully. I've found the Pals to be great backup forms and fun to wear in regular bras, but they don't prevent my chest from perspiring, so for me they're not ideal. For some women, who don't have that problem, they might just be the perfect form.

The next time I was insurance eligible, I opted for Amoena Climate forms in a size 3, a much better fit than my original size 2s, which I had long since given away. Around this time, I also discovered a new company, Silique, which makes the Comfort-Lite, an ultra-lightweight form with silicone in the front and polyurethane beads covered by microfiber in the back. The company offered to let me try a pair for review on BreastFree.org. I loved the forms and ultimately purchased them.

The Silique Comfort-Lite forms really are the best forms I've found so far. At only three ounces each for my size 3s, they could hardly be lighter. My previous favorite forms, the size 2 Airway Tritex Triangulars, feel heavy by comparison. I can wear the Comfort-Lites in an unstructured Crop Top bra by Barely There. With that combo, I barely know I have anything on. The Comfort-Lites work in almost all my other pocketed and unpocketed bras, too. And they're so soft and cool that I was able to wear them comfortably all day in the hot, sticky Florida Everglades. Like the Tritex Triangles, they take longer to dry than all-silicone forms, but a blow dryer set on cool setting can speed that process along.

So, are the Silique Comfort-Lites perfect? Well, I guess the bottom line is that they're not my breasts, so they'll never seem quite as good as the real thing. But they're a fabulous substitute. So much so that I wear them almost all the time now. I haven't gone form shopping in quite a while, much to my husband's delight. But, if something new comes along, I'll be first in line to give it a try. And sometimes, no matter how much I love my breast forms, I'm tempted to go flat altogether. But that's a subject for another blog.

Like Mother(-in-Law), Like Daughter(-in-law)

When I was facing a bilateral mastectomy, I had a wonderful role model—my mother-in-law, Reggie, who lived without breasts (and without reconstruction) for over fifty years. Reggie was a striking woman with dark wavy hair and flawless skin. She wore loose, flowing apparel, often accented by colorful scarves. The loose clothes were necessitated by severe lymphedema that developed in one arm after surgery and radiation, but they also seemed to express her free spirit and joie de vivre.

When Reggie had her first mastectomy at age 31, reconstruction wasn't available. Even after her second mastectomy, fifteen years later, reconstruction with implants was still in its infancy. In any event, given her prior radiation, Reggie wasn't a candidate for implant reconstruction. So, she was breast-free by necessity, not by choice.

Before her diagnosis, Reggie dressed very conventionally, favoring a tailored look. After her mastectomy and particularly after the development of lymphedema, Reggie felt she had to find a style that would suit her physical situation. She no longer could conform to the then-current fashions, with their tight-fitting blouses, sweaters, and jackets.

The process of creating her own style of dress had a remarkable effect on Reggie—she re-invented herself. She became freer, not just in dress but in behavior. She went back to school, became a psychologist, and pioneered the first support groups for post-mastectomy women. Eventually, she decided she didn't want the encumbrance of breast forms and went flat most of the time. No one seemed to notice, or if they did, her choice only made people admire her more.

When I was deciding whether or not to have reconstruction, the way Reggie lived her life breast-free profoundly affected my decision not to reconstruct. Because of her example, I knew my life could be full and wonderful whether or not I had breasts. After my father-in-law died, when Reggie was 64, she subsequently met and married a terrific guy, so I also knew that men could still be attracted to women who didn't have breasts. And, having followed Reggie's work with women who had undergone mastectomies, I hoped that I too might be able to help women adjust to living their lives post-mastectomy.

Though Reggie was initially surprised by my decision not to have reconstruction, once she realized that I regarded it as a positive choice, she fully supported me. Because of the example Reggie set, my husband and grown sons never regarded my mastectomy as disfiguring. In fact, my husband urged me not to have reconstruction.

Reggie passed away last September at age 82, not from breast cancer. I miss her and wish I could show her this first post on the BreastFree Blog. I'm sure she would be enthusiastic about it, as she was about everything in life.

Reggie in 2005

I welcome your comments and stories about people who made a difference in your decision to live breast-free.